Final Thoughts

I’ve been writing this entry for some time now.  We’re never sure how much time we have on earth and with our loved ones, and I wanted to be sure to get these thoughts written out.

I talked to mom about it and she agreed to post this for me, you see by the time you read this I will have crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  Mom got a little upset while we were talking and I did my best to console her.  She asked if she could add a post script to this final post and, of course, I said she could and that I would be honored if she would.  It will be nice for you to hear from my mom at this time.  If you have a little bit of time, I’m sure she’d appreciate a comment or two.

Well, here goes. 

I loved my life and the ones who shared it with me.  They were caring and fun to be with. 

I went on a few adventures with mom and dad.  I loved camping with them.  We would sit outside the camper and enjoy the outdoors.  Those were some of my favorite times.  I wish I could have done more of that with them, but I am grateful for the memories we made.

I appreciated all the good food and the wonderful care I had over the years.  It’s tough getting old and as we age we need more medical attention sometimes.  My mom was always keen to my medical needs.  She knew when I wasn’t feeling well or when something wasn’t just quite right.  I had a wonderful Vet, Dr. Julia Lynn at Kachina Animal Hospital.  She, and all those who worked there were fabulous.

I loved my dog brothers who went before me (Taz and Joey) as well as my cat brother (Dante) and cat sister (Maya) who I left behind to comfort mom and dad.  I hope they are up to the task.  Dante was sad when his dog brother, Taz, crossed the bridge.  You see, Taz used to clean Dante’s ears all the time, but I think you may already know that.  Anyway, after Taz passed, I took up that job.  Dante seemed OK with it and we bonded over many an ear-cleaning session.  Maya never liked her ears cleaned, but she would occasionally lie on the dog bed with me.  She was nice.

I enjoyed playing in the snow, even though we didn’t have much in our area.  When we did, mom would run around with me out front, throwing snow balls for me to either catch or find.  You know, it’s tough to find a snowball after it falls in the snow.

Mom took lots and lots of photographs of me.  Besides being a Personal Trainer she is somewhat of an amateur photographer.  I didn’t really enjoy having my picture taken, but I tolerated it, for mom’s sake.  One thing I want to pass on to you is to take lots of photographs, there are no cameras at the Rainbow Bridge.

Last but not least, my mom.  What can I say about the human who loved me unconditionally and provided for my every need throughout my life with her.  I wish we could have found each other sooner, so we would have had more time together, but the time we did share was absolutely wonderful.  I love her with all my heart and I hope that someday I will find my way back to her, and she to me.  If you recall in an earlier post I talked about us exchanging pieces of our hearts, so we are able to keep each other near, now and in the future.  I just wanted to let you all know that I have a piece of mom’s heart with me, something I will cherish always.  She has a piece of my heart as well.  She said when our hearts beat together we are always together, regardless of time and distance.  I like that.

 

Post Script:

I stroked his fur until it no longer felt familiar.  I breathed in his scent until it no longer held his essence.  I closed my eyes, let the tears fall, and said my last goodbye.

I knew this day was coming.  I was not prepared.

Hi, Bear’s mom here.  The journey with Bear has been difficult for me but he was strong throughout it, so I did my best to be strong for him as well.  Thank you for your care, concern, comments, encouragement, and sharing of stories.  I have read all of Bear’s posts and the responses by his many followers.  I cannot begin to express my appreciation, and love, for all.

I believe Bear wrote about anthropomorphism in his first blog in January of 2017.  He was correct when he told you about my academic writing and how I had to be extremely cautious to avoid anthropomorphizing things that were not human.  I succeeded in my academic writings but not in my personal life, but that’s OK, and I would have it no other way.

We are all connected in this universe, at a molecular level.  Everything in the universe has an essence, that’s what makes them what they are.  Bear had that, which is why anthropomorphizing is not applicable to him.  He was family and always will be.  I have had a number of fur-babies pass through my life; they never stay long enough.  And, although my heart is breaking and a piece has left with Bear, there will be another entering my life in the future.  I am sure of it; and, this new family member will join a heart that is comprised of many, many pieces of those who have passed through on their journey.  I don’t know who it will be, when or where, but it will be soon, of that I am sure.

Bear started something here that is important and I’m sure he would want that to continue.  I don’t know who will pick it up, perhaps Dante or Maya will begin to express their thoughts, then perhaps another who has yet to join us will take over.  Whoever it is, someone will step in.  They will never take Bear’s place, but they will add to the essence that remains in our home, the essence of all who have passed through as well as those yet to come.

I will leave you with a few thoughts of others:

Search for and read Rudyard Kipling’s “The Power of the Dog” and you will find the following lines near the end of some stanzas, (https://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/kipling/power_of_dog.html)

Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware

Of giving your heart to a dog to tear. . . .

You will discover how much you care,

And will give your heart to a dog to tear. . . .

So why in — Heaven (before we are there)

Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear

I believe, giving our heart to a dog to tear makes us whole, makes us care for others, makes us genuinely compassionate.  And while the pain is unbearable as our heart tears at their passing, we are stronger for it.

“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”  Pericles (495 BC – 425 BC)

With any luck, you have had, and will continue to have a fur-baby who has woven itself into your life.

Advertisements

My Cat Brother – Dante

Hi everyone – Bear here again.  It’s been a while since I last wrote, but things have been a little hectic lately.

I finished my final scheduled IV chemo treatment on May 2.  The few days afterward were a little rough.  Mom had to stay with me to help me get through them.  Unfortunately, that meant she missed her most favorite trip, Special Olympics State Competition.  I felt bad that she decided to stay home, but I’m glad she did.  I do so much better when mom is with me.  She got updates throughout the weekend about Bradshaw Mountain Special Olympics and how they were doing.  Apparently, they did very well, most of them having their best scores (time and distance) in their events.  Josh and Ryan, mom’s pentathletes, beat their scores as well.  She was very happy for them, but I know she missed seeing it first hand, and taking photos of all the activity.

I had a 2-week wash out period before I could begin my low-dose chemo pills.  Those started on May 16th, and so far I’m doing OK.  I’m still a little fussy about what I like to eat; things just don’t smell that good to me yet.  Mom has an infinite amount of patience with me and sits on the floor trying to get me to eat.  Sometimes it takes 4, 5, or 6 tries of me sniffing at the food she offers.  Most times I end up finally eating, and it tastes really good.  Mom is still cooking my meals and giving me a variety of protein and carbohydrates.  There is love in her cooking.

This past Sunday we had some trouble, this time with Dante my cat brother.  That’s him in the photo.  Dante has renal issues, that’s kidney problems, and was diagnosed last year with lowered kidney function.  Well, his kidneys must be getting worse.  This past Saturday, mom and dad couldn’t find Dante in the house.  They were calling and searching for a while and I was getting worried.  They finally found him, tucked in mom’s closet, on top of her shoe boxes.  Mom brought him out and sat with him in the living room, brushing his orange coat.  He was purring loudly, I could hear him across the room.

On Sunday he ended up hiding again, this time under mom’s printer table near the computer.  When mom reached under to get him she said he was wet.  Poor Dante had actually peed on himself.  I felt really bad for him as I know that’s not good and he must have felt terrible not being able to make it to his litter box.

Mom grabbed the cat carrier, put Dante in it, and then called the Emergency Vet Office.  Luckily we have an ER Vet in the area.  When she put Dante in the carrier, I knew something was wrong and I got really anxious.  I was pacing around and sniffing at the carrier.  I tried to tell Dante that mom would take good care of him and that he should try to relax, but he was meowing a bit.  That made me a little upset as well.

Mom took off for the ER Vet and left me home.  She said she’d be right back and that dad would be home soon.  Sure enough, dad got home a little while later and together we waited for mom and Dante.  Well, when mom got home, she didn’t have Dante with her and I was a little confused.  I was wondering where he was and when he would be home.

Mom sat down with me and told me that Dante was very sick and had to stay in the hospital overnight.  He need constant care and some medical attention.  She said he would get the best care possible and I know she was telling me the truth because, well, look at me and the care I’ve received.  Then she started talking about that bridge again, and that there was a possibility that it may be time for Dante to cross that bridge, without us.  She was crying as she was telling me this and I tried to comfort her.  I stuck close by her side for the rest of the night.  We were together until about midnight when I went out for another pee-break and she finally went to bed.

Mom called the ER Vet Monday morning for an update and told me that Dante was resting, that he was not in any pain, but we wouldn’t know much more than that until they did some blood tests later in the day.  Mom’s crying a little today as we talk about it, but she’s holding up pretty well.  I’m going to stick close today as well.  I ate all my breakfast, and then all my mid-morning snack.  She feels better when I eat, so I’m doing my best to help her through this.

I guess we wait now.  I hope Dante is doing OK and that he realizes that mom is thinking about him and making sure he gets whatever he needs at his point in his life.  I hope he doesn’t have to cross the bridge, I like hanging out with him and cleaning his ears.  I trust mom to make the right decisions.  Her decisions are always made out of love.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate

Hello everyone I’m doing a bit better after my 4th chemo treatment and thought I’d stop by for a quick chat.

Chemo was on April 11th and I managed to get in and out of the Oncologist’s office in a little over an hour.  Not having to go through an ultrasound and x-rays like last time really made a difference.  I was well behaved and let the techs and the doctor do what they needed to do to get me through quickly.

After I got out of the doctor’s office, mom and I headed north, toward home.  She pulled over just north of Phoenix, into Anthem, and said we were going to stop for a break.  She went in to Baskin Robbins and bought a small cup of ice cream.  We drove across the street, into the park, to enjoy it together.

The park is really nice.  It was my first time there, mom’s too.  This is the park that has the Veteran’s Memorial, a uniquely designed memorial of five pillars with slanted/oblong openings at different heights.  These openings are lined up so that on every November 11, at 11:11 AM, the sun shines through the openings and illuminates the Great Seal of the United States on the ground in front of the five pillars.  Now, we were there in the late afternoon in April so of course we did not get to see this beautiful sight; but, it was certainly impressive.

Anyway, there is a lot of soft, green grass throughout the park with sidewalks winding through and around some of the small lakes.  There is a train station, for kids, but the train was not running while we were there.  Besides, there was sign that stated no dogs were allowed on the train.  I think that’s discrimination, but I guess they can do what they want since it is their train.

Mom sat on a bench while I stood near.  I knew what was coming and was excited.  She took the top off the ice cream and gave me a small amount on a spoon.  She ate some as well.  I wanted more and I wanted it quickly, but mom said I needed to slow down so I didn’t get an ‘ice cream headache’ whatever that is.  I got a few more spoons of delicious vanilla ice cream – what a treat!

We finished the ice cream then took a walk around an area of the park.  I enjoyed the shade and the grass.  It was nice to take some time to smell all the different smells that were all around me.  There had been quite a few other dogs through this park, I could tell, and they left all kinds of messages for me.  I did my best to leave some messages of my own, but after a few well-placed messages I didn’t have much left, if you get my meaning.

I had a drink of water before we climbed back in the truck to start for home.  Mom always brings a container of water on our trips.  I’ve become used to drinking our filtered well water.  When I get offered ‘city water’ I tend to refuse it as it smells different.

I’m glad that the days following my chemo treatment were not as bad as before.  Mom has the whole food issue figured out so I was eating grilled beef or turkey burgers right away.  I think having some good food in me helped to get me through the worst part.  I still have to take meds to stave off nausea and to help me get over the diarrhea (sorry about that), but I take those pretty well as long as they are wrapped in a piece of mozzarella.   I should get my sense of taste and smell back a little more over the next few days which means I’ll start eating the chicken mom cooks for me and maybe the scrambled eggs she makes for me each morning.  It just takes a few days for everything to get back on track.

The Bridge Talk

We had some time today, to relax, to nap, and to just be with each other.  Mom took some time to lie down next to me on one of my many beds and tell me a story.  She said it was a story she had been meaning to tell me for a while now, but she just didn’t have the words.  Today, she said she found the words.

She talked about a bridge, somewhere in our future, that we would come upon.  When we got to this bridge, she said she was going to have to stay on one side and I would have to go on without her, across the bridge.  Now, I don’t like going anywhere without mom and I told her that I would rather stay with her or that she could walk across with me.  But, she said this was a special bridge, one that she would not yet be able to cross.  Mom said I had to be brave and take the journey without her on that day.  There would come a day, in her distant future, when she would cross the same bridge, but it was inevitable that I would have to cross first, without her.

She talked about how Taz and Joey, and even Othello, would be on the other side waiting to greet me.  You see, they had to cross the bridge before me, also without mom, and when they did, they met some of the others who had crossed before them.  Apparently, there were quite a few before me who lived with mom and dad and had already crossed this special bridge.  I remembered Taz, Joey, and Othello, but didn’t know about the others.

Anyway, she said that Taz and Joey and Othello would show me around and introduce me to everyone else.  There would be soft grass on which I could run and play and I could take naps and eat whatever I wanted.  She mentioned that I wouldn’t have any pain in my knees or hips, and I’d be able to run like the wind.  She also said I would no longer have cancer.  It would always be great weather, no rain or wind, but if I wanted to play in the snow all I had to do was think about it and like magic there would be some snow for me.  I thought that would be pretty neat.

I got a little worried and asked her what I was going to do without her and how would she know I was doing OK?  She said that sometimes, those who have already crossed this bridge, get to come back and visit.  She was sure that Taz and Joey and Othello had visited a few times, but she could not really see them.  She said she felt them, in her heart, and that when it was my turn to visit her, she would feel me in her heart.  She would know that I was nearby and she would smile, sometimes through tears, remembering the good times we had and the love we shared, the love we would always share because we had exchanged pieces of our hearts.

That was a little comforting, knowing that I would still be able to see mom, even if she couldn’t see me.  I just wanted to be sure that she wouldn’t forget me because I know I’d never forget her.

If the thing about exchanging pieces of our hearts is true, and mom has done this with all those who have lived with her, then I guess mom’s heart is pretty big by now.  Not only that, but there must be pieces of her heart in lots of fur babies on the other side of this bridge.  She told me about Rusty, the first Bear, and Wendy who all lived with her when she first moved to AZ.  She talked about Ashley, Papillion, and Rubin who traveled across the country when she and dad drove to their new home.  Then there was Marshall and Mick and Sandy and Annie and Hershey and Angel, all fur babies who have lived in the house and in mom’s heart.  That’s a lot of pieces of heart to hold on to, but mom seems to have managed it pretty well.

We snuggled for a little while after she finished her story.  She mentioned that she hoped we would not get to this bridge anytime soon and that we’d have lots more time together.  I told her I would do my best to stay with her, and dad, for a long time.   I want to make lots more memories with mom and share more of my heart with her so that when the time comes for me to be brave and cross that bridge, a large piece of my heart will stay with her.  I know I’ll be taking a piece of her heart with me when the time comes, but for now I think we’ll just stick close to each other.

Interesting Two Weeks

Hello family and friends, I hope you are all doing well.  I know it’s been a couple weeks since I last posted to my blog so let me catch up on what’s been happening with me, my mom, and my treatments.

I had my third IV chemo treatment on Tuesday, March 21st.  Along with the chemo that was scheduled I also had some chest x-rays and an ultrasound of my abdomen.  Oh yeah, the regular blood work that goes with these treatments as well.  As you can imagine it was a pretty full day.

Mom and I left the house about 9:00 AM.  I had mixed feelings about this trip.  I sort of knew where I was going, so while I was happy to be riding in the truck with mom, I was not really excited about where I was going.  We listened to more of Springsteen’s audio book, Born To Run, and I find his voice soothing, as does mom, so the trip was relatively uneventful.

We arrived in plenty of time for my 11:00 ultrasound appointment.  That’s when the fun started.  For some reason, I ended up going in the back right about 11:00 to get ready, or so I thought, for my ultrasound.  Well, when I got back there, the techs drew my blood so they could start those tests, but I didn’t go right to my ultrasound.  I ended up waiting, and waiting, and waiting.  I began to worry about mom, sitting out in the waiting room, probably wondering what was happening with me.  I tried to tell someone that they should go out front to talk to mom and let her know what was happening, but I couldn’t get anyone’s attention.

Apparently, there were a few emergencies at the vet’s office, next door, which was where I was supposed to get my ultrasound.  That’s what was causing the backup.  In the meantime, they took my chest x-rays.  So, my blood work and my chest x-rays were done and we were just waiting on the ultrasound.  Finally, it was my turn.  Remember earlier when I said that I wasn’t too thrilled about this appointment today?  For an ultrasound, they have to roll me on my back in this V-shaped table thing, shave my tummy, and then do the test.  Well, I was having none of it and tried to squirm my way off the table.  No matter how hard they tried I would not lie still.  I was starting to get really scared, I wanted to see my mom, I wanted her back there with me.

They took me off the table and went out to talk to mom, finally!  When they came back I got a shot that made me a little sleepy and very relaxed.  While I was dozing, they must have put me up on that table again because before I knew it I was waking up inside one of the large kennels.  I had to stay in there for quite some time.  I actually lost track of time, it seemed like forever and all I could think about was mom sitting out front, by herself, worrying about me.  Again, I tried to tell somebody to go check on my mom, but I was still so tired I could barely speak.

It took some time, but eventually I was hooked up to my IV chemo treatment.  That seemed to go OK and within about an hour I was bounding out front to meet mom again so we could go home.  I was really, really happy to see her, and she was happy to see me.  She took me outside so I could pee, then gave me some water.  We bring our own water when we take these trips.  I don’t like ‘city water’ and mom said she doesn’t want me drinking it either.

We settled in for our ride home.  While we were driving home mom filled me in on what had happened and the results of all those tests I had to have done today.

First, she said we had been in the oncologist’s office for six hours.  SIX HOURS!  That’s crazy.  She mentioned that someone finally came out to let her know about the emergencies that had happened and why it was taking so long.  She also let me know that my x-rays were clear, which is good.  We certainly don’t want to see any problems in my chest and around my heart.  That was great news.

She also let me know that my ultrasound came back good as well.  The oncologist advised there was no new growth of tumors, no change in anything that was already there.  I guess the chemo is doing its job.  I hope it continues to work and that I’ll have lots more time to spend with mom and dad.

One of the reasons things seemed to take so long was my reluctance to lie still on my own.  When I said I got a shot and then got a little sleepy it was because they had to sedate me in order to do the ultrasound.  They had to tell mom first because she had to sign additional paperwork.  When I was removed from the table the first time, to get the shot, I sort of lost my place in line.  Well, that extended our wait time even further.  By the time I started my IV chemo, after all these tests, it was already almost 4:00 PM.  Keep in mind we left the house at 9:00 AM, arrived a little before 11:00 AM, and I spent most of the day in the back while mom waited out front.  Actually, she said she drove to Whole Foods to get something to eat, but wasn’t gone for more than an hour because she didn’t want to be away in case something happened.

We made it home by 7:00 PM – that was a l-o-n-g day!

After treatment, I was OK for Wednesday and Thursday, but by Friday I didn’t feel well.  I didn’t want to eat much at all.  Mom kept trying different things but most of the stuff she made for me just didn’t smell, or taste, good.  I didn’t really eat much on Saturday either.  Mom had to force some pills down my throat, which I didn’t care for, but I knew it was important.  She said she was sorry each time.  I understood.

By Sunday, she tried something new.  Mom made me scrambled eggs.  You know, they tasted really good so I ate what she cooked.  She was excited I was finally eating and made me another egg.  Then that afternoon she grilled me a hamburger.  Not just any hamburger, but the grass-fed ground beef burgers she buys for herself.  She’s kind of a ‘health-nut’ and tries to eat healthy food, so it was quite special that she made me one of her burgers.  It tasted really good so I ate the whole thing.  It took a few days before I started eating the chicken breast that she cooks for me, but I’ve started back on that as well.

Well, if you couldn’t figure it out yet, my diet has changed a bit.  For breakfast, mom makes me two scrambled eggs mixed with some brown rice and some shredded chicken breast.  For lunch I have more brown rice, more chicken, and a little of my dry U/D dog food.  For dinner mom grills me either a beef burger or a turkey burger and then mixes it with a little brown rice and some of my dry dog food.  I take my meds and supplements wrapped in small pieces of cheese, typically mozzarella or Havarti.  Do you think I’m a little spoiled?  Or maybe mom just loves me a lot.  I’m not sure, but I am enjoying my food again.

After this last treatment, I had some of the same side-effects, but they were not as severe and did not last as long.  It seems like I’ll have more good days between treatments this time around.  That’s good and I know mom is happy about it too.  I have my 4th treatment on April 11 and my 5th treatment on May 2nd.  I hope things go as well as they did this time.

Just a Little Off

Hello everyone, Bear here.  It’s been a while since I last posted to my blog.  You see, I’ve had a rough week.

Well, I had my second IV chemo treatment and the dose was reduced by 20% due to the really bad reaction I had after the first treatment.  Everything went well, at least at first.  Mom and I headed to Scottsdale on Tuesday, February 28th.  I really enjoy riding in the truck with mom.  She talks to me on the trip and opens the back window for me if we’re not travelling too fast.  On this trip, she popped in a CD of Bruce Springsteen’s audio book, “Born to Run” and we listened to it on the way to the oncologist.  I like when he sings and for his book he did the audio recording, so it was an extra treat to have him ‘talk’ to us during the trip.

The tech in the office was really happy that mom kept a journal of my experiences and asked to copy the applicable pages for my medical file.  This made it a lot easier than mom trying to relay all the information.  They took me in the back and took some blood to test to see if things were OK for me to receive my IV treatment.  Apparently, everything came back just fine and I was hooked up to an IV.

Since I had such a drastic reaction to the first treatment, the oncologist told mom that I would need a blood test seven days after this treatment.  At least I just have to go to Kachina Animal Hospital for that test and not take that long drive to Scottsdale.  We drove home to Bruce Springsteen’s voice again.  I had a great ride home.

I started to get a little picky about what I would and would not eat.  I was still eating my canned u/d with pumpkin, but preferred a delicacy called Trufood mixed with my dry food.  Well, this worked for a few days.  By the second day I started to get an upset stomach.  Mom gave me my anti-nausea meds and things seemed to quiet down a bit.  I was still eating my regular food but was getting a bit tired.

I take some pill medication as well and mom typically wraps those pills in a tasty Pill Pocket and I swallow it whole!  Love those Pill Pockets, or at least I did.  For some reason, things just didn’t taste or smell that good to me and I didn’t want to take my meds.  Mom tried peanut butter, which was OK, but I just licked the PB and spit out the pill.  Unfortunately, mom had to force me to take my meds.  I know she doesn’t like to do it, and I couldn’t really explain why I was feeling bad and didn’t want to take them.  I was getting really tired by the third day after my treatment.

I sort of bounced back a little by day five, but still was not feeling well.  I was still eating some of my dry food with canned chicken, but really only wanted the Trufood.

On day seven I went in for my blood draw.  My temperature was normal, which is good considering it spiked quite high after the last treatment, but I still was not feeling good.  I went downhill from there.  I didn’t want to eat, even the Trufood wasn’t tasting too good to me.  I wasn’t drinking much water either, which concerned mom quite a bit.  I just didn’t know how to tell her I wasn’t feeling well.  She stayed by my side trying to get me to eat and drink.  She even tried spoon feeding me.  I appreciated her trying so I would take a couple bites, but I just wasn’t interested.

Mom went to the store on Friday and bought some huge chicken breasts.  She put them in her crockpot with some chicken broth and let them cook for a few hours.  In the meantime, she made some rice and some plain pasta.  (My mom’s Italian, so there is ALWAYS pasta in the house.)  Well, the rice tasted good, and so did the pasta.  Then the chicken was finished and mom shredded it into a container and gave me some.  That tasted pretty good too.  I think I ate too much.  I sort of got a little upset, but didn’t throw up.  This was a rough day for me, and mom.  She was really, really worried about me.  I don’t think she slept well at all that night.  I was exhausted and spent the entire night in the bedroom instead of roaming the house for different places to sleep.  I know mom was up at least four times that night because she came over to check on me.  She would pet me and talk to me for a few minutes, but I was so tired I barely lifted my head.

I felt a little better this morning, but mom was still worried.  She drove into town to drop off the track & field equipment for Special Olympics practice and let them know she had to hurry home to take care of me.  My mom coaches Special Olympics, not sure you knew that.  She told me she was coming right back so I waited for her.  She was only gone for a little while but to me it seemed like, forever!

I have now eaten quite a bit of fresh cooked chicken today, it’s really all I want.  I’m starting to feel a little better but I’m still tired.  Mom has started wrapping my meds in sliced turkey or sliced roast beef.  She thinks she’s fooling me, but I know there are pills in there.  I’m just glad the turkey or roast beef tastes good so I can just swallow it whole.

I’m hoping I feel even better tomorrow.  Mom said she was going to stay with me as much as possible and that makes me feel better.  I always feel better when mom is nearby.  I hope she knows I’m trying to get better.  She has a special power called love that makes everything feel better.  I feel it in her hands and see it in her eyes, even through her tears. 

“A Dog’s Purpose”

My mom went to the movies with a friend today.  I stayed at home with dad.  She came home after a few hours, sat down and told me all about the movie she had just seen.  It was titled, “A Dog’s Purpose”.

Now I know what a dog’s purpose is, but I guess some people don’t.  Maybe they don’t have dogs in their lives to help them learn about our purpose.  That’s kind of sad, because we have a lot to teach.  Sometimes it’s tough to get it out and be understood by people.  I think that may be because they are not truly open to communicating with us.  After all there are some people who will say, “Oh, it’s just a dog.”  I don’t go around saying, “Oh, it’s just a person.”  I try to talk to everyone.  I like talking to people and I like when they talk to me.

Anyway, mom said the movie was about Bailey, a dog who had a young boy (Ethan) as a best friend.  Ethan and Bailey did just about everything together.  One thing they really liked to do was play together and Ethan taught Bailey a special trick with an old deflated football.  Well, Ethan grew up and Bailey got a little older.  After Ethan went away to college Bailey was feeling really sad, and old.  One day, Ethan’s mom, and his grandparents, realized that Bailey wasn’t doing very well and took him to the Vet.  Grandpa called Ethan who came home to be with Bailey as he crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

Mom started crying when she was telling me that part.  But then she talked about Bailey, and how he seemed to come back again, as a puppy.  He was different, but still knew who he was.  He also remembered Ethan and wondered how he was ever going to find him again.  Well, Bailey went through a few more lives.  Each time he found someone who really needed him and he helped them through some pretty tough times.

I told mom, that’s what we do.  Dogs love helping people through tough times because we know how much fun they can be when they are happy again.  It’s like when mom is sad.  This happens now when I’m not feeling well, mostly after my treatments.  Mom sits with me, pets me, brushes me, and tells me that she loves me.  It’s these times when I feel her sadness, and all I want to do is to make her feel happy again.  I look at her and ‘tell’ her that I love her very much and that she needn’t worry so much about me, that I’ll be just fine.  I ‘tell’ her that we’ll get through these tough times, together.

Well, back to the movie – SPOLIER ALERT – if you haven’t seen it, and you plan on seeing it in the future, you may want to stop reading about now.  I’m going to talk about the ending.

Bailey ends up, once again coming back and, unfortunately left to roam the streets by a not-too-nice person.  He ends up in the same area where he and Ethan spent their summers, Ethan’s grandparents farm.  Bailey recognizes some familiar smells and, of course, follows his nose.

He finds Ethan, who is much older, but does not recognize Bailey.  It’s OK because Ethan keeps this new dog (which is really Bailey) in his home.  Finally, there is an opportunity for Bailey to show this much older Ethan that special trick he learned as a pup, when Ethan was a young boy.  It finally clicks with Ethan, that standing in front of him is his Bailey, or as we find out very early in the film, his Bailey, Bailey, Bailey, Bailey, Bailey – or his Boss Dog.  It was a really happy ending, after Bailey traveled those many years, and many miles, to find Ethan again.

I hope it was a true story because I’d like to be able do the same and travel wherever I have to, and as long as I have to, so I can find my mom again.  I know that would make her happy.  It would certainly make me happy.